There is a crisis ongoing in this nation and much of the world at large. An epidemic with a massive cost attached. I am speaking of fatherlessness. Whether or not you have the father’s blessing in your life can unfairly impact the trajectory of your experiences with this world.
Whether by ignorance, neglect or complete absence physically or emotionally, earthly fathers are creating crater sized voids in the hearts of their sons and daughters, leading them into all sorts of territory they ought not ever tread.
Research is now understanding that this crisis of fatherlessness truly has reached epidemic proportions and is affecting our societies in ways we could have never imagined possible.
The statistics on the effects of fatherlessness are staggering and disturbing. According to the LiveAbout website from the post called “Statistics on Fatherless Children in America,” who cited a work from the US Department of Justice, here are some tragic examples:
- 63% of youth suicides are from homes with absent father figures
- 90% of homeless, runaway youths are impacted by this epidemic
- 85% of children with behavioral problems come from homes lacking a father figure
- 71% of high school dropouts are fatherless
- 70% of kids in detention facilities didn’t have a father to support them
- 75% of youth addicts in treatment report a lack of relationship with father
Depression and anxiety rates are higher. Suicide rates as a result are higher. Severe anger outbursts and non-existent self esteem are all a part of this crisis. Fathers.com is a wonderful resource for dads wanting to improve their relationships with their children, as well as information about the effects fatherlessness has on an individual.
One of the most powerful songs I’ve ever heard on this topic:
Where Do We Go From Here?
The statistics are so discouraging. So what do we do? How do we put a dent in this pain and the repercussions of it?
To be honest, there is really only one answer and that is Father God. His love is the only love that truly heals, sets free and delivers us from the wounds of our past.
First, as hard as it can feel to do, we must forgive our earthly fathers for not giving us what they didn’t know how to provide. More often than not, earthly dads that were physically or emotionally unavailable were wounded souls themselves, unable to love who they were, and in turn, unable to provide for you the love they too desperately craved but never found.
Mark 12:30-31 The Passion Translation (TPT)
30 You are to love the Lord Yahweh, your God, with every passion of your heart, with all the energy of your being, with every thought that is within you, and with all your strength. This is the great and supreme commandment. 31 And the second is this: ‘You must love your neighbora]”>[a] in the same way you love yourself.’ You will never find a greater commandment than these.”
If one is unable to love themselves for any number of reasons, how can they possibly fulfill this commandment? It is a cycle, one of pain. The only way we can begin to break this cycle is to begin to call upon Father God, to heal our hearts, our families and our lives. Without Him, this cycle of heartache and pain will never end.
What Does Father God Say?
There is a song that so succinctly sums up all of the words I could possibly say here. God’s love is reckless. He gave it all for you by sending His Son, Jesus, to the cross to take the penalty we should have had to pay. But because Jesus took the penalty of sin for us, our Father sees us through the blood of Jesus, spotless and blameless. All we must do is accept Jesus as our Savior and repent of our sins. Repentance means to change your mind, to turn around. Live a different way through the help of Holy Spirit as your guide. The lie of the enemy that says because you didn’t get what you needed from your earthly father, you’ll always be alone, you’ll always be damaged, you’ll always be insecure, you’ll always be needy, is just that – a LIE from the enemy. God is your Father and He wants His love to penetrate the most broken pieces of who you are, to make you whole again. Maybe even for the first time in your life. The reckless love of God, when you allow Him to minister to your heart is capable of healing any wound, any hurt, any bitterness, all pain and trauma. Completely. When God does what He does best, there is nothing missing and nothing broken. He doesn’t do incomplete work. He doesn’t sort of heal you with a band-aid, only to leave you limping along for the rest of your life halfway healed. It is total and complete.
4 For sure He took on Himself our troubles and carried our sorrows. Yet we thought of Him as being punished and hurt by God, and made to suffer. 5 But He was hurt for our wrong-doing. He was crushed for our sins. He was punished so we would have peace. He was beaten so we would be healed.
There Is A Saying…
It goes something like this: “Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery, today is a gift of God, which is why we call it the present.” ―Unfortunately, not even God can change the past and what we didn’t receive. He can only work with you in the now, healing you from your past and enabling you to move forward into your bright future. There is a purpose on the inside of you. There is a voice in there waiting to explode, to help other’s heal from their traumas. You didn’t go through all the hell you’ve been through for nothing. God is in the time-redeeming business. That’s why He says:
Genesis 50:20 You intended to harm me, but God intended it all for good. He brought me to this position so I could save the lives of many people. Jeremiah 29:11 For I know the plans I have for you“-[this is] the Lord’s declaration-“plans for [your] welfare, not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope.
There IS Hope
I know it hurts. I know you feel like you’re never good enough. It seems as if you feel second-best at best to everyone else around you. Sometimes you think that you need to beg for attention, be outlandish in some way shape or form. Other days you’re lost in a funk of depression, self-loathing, anxiety that leaves you feeling paralyzed and just plain miserable. You wonder if you have anything of value to offer, or if anyone will ever love you for you and not abandon or reject you the way you’re used to. Will anyone ever just not hurt me, you wonder? You either guard your heart to try and avoid getting hurt or you give it too freely, desperate for love and affection in all the wrong places. Does anyone really get me, see me, need me? Father God not only sees you, but YOU are the apple of His eye. (Psalm 17:8) He has numbered even the hairs of your head. (Luke 12:7) Not only does He get you, but He created you to be exactly who you are – no apologies necessary. (Jeremiah 1:5) And not only does He need you, but He chose you before the foundations of the world. (Ephesians 1:4) You are never alone because God promised He would never leave you, nor forsake/abandon you. (Deuteronomy 31:6)
The Father’s Blessing
You are the apple of Your Father’s eyes. He adores you. You have His hand of blessing upon your life, even when you feel not good enough. Especially when you feel not good enough. His loving hand is right there to lead you and guide you back to the path of truth, the path of life and the path that leads to His ultimate blessing over your life. If you are a dad now, please, pray the Father’s blessing over your kids. Let them know that they are the most precious thing on this Earth. Let them know that they will always be safe, always be loved, always be wanted and can do absolutely anything that is in their hearts to do. Dads, here is a link to a Father’s blessing prayer if you need one to follow at first: Prayer For Your Children: Blessing If you are someone who needs the Father’s blessing, please read this wonderful prayer from a “stand-in father.” You are blessed and highly favored of the Lord. He gave it all for you. Let Father God wrap His arms of love and healing around you as a blanket and soak in the freedom He paid to give you. You are loved. Never forget it. Walk & talk with Daddy for the first time in your life. Let Him introduce Himself to you in a way you’ve never known. It is His great pleasure.